Fruit of the Tomb

29 Oct


As I have grown up I have begun to realize how increasingly unimportant the prescience of a mummy is during the Halloween season. When I was little, mummies were everywhere.  There were mummy tombs in my neighbor’s front yards, dogs wrapped in tissue paper, and plastic Mcnugget buddies Happy Meal toys with clip on bandages.

Maybe the fad has died out; the last decent mummy movie was, in fact, The Mummy (1999) starring Brendan Frasier and Rachel Weisz.  It is time for us to relive the terror of the linen cloaked corpse.

How do I propose we re-introduce ourselves to the horror? By introducing ourselves to the laughter.  The first mummy I knew and loved was Klaris, from Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy (1955). Klaris kicked it old school, he wasn’t computer animated like mummies would be today, Klaris was a real human, stuntman Eddie Parker, wrapped in real linen, with a real clue hidden inside his sarcophagus.  Klaris was so chill, after his re-death in the movie both Abbott and Costello adopt his linen.

Klaris and friends, I miss your aged strips of cloth, your hunger for revenge and your everlasting quests to find your internal organs.

Mummies, I miss your face- Shassie

Fun Fact: In the movie Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy, the title characters are actually named Peter and Freddie, but throughout the movie they refer to each other as their real names Abbott and Costello.

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