The Imposters Next Door

19 Oct

I refuse to learn the names of the new Girls Next Door on E!. They are trying desperately to replace Holly, Bridget and Kendra; replacing the old girl’s real sentiment for Hugh Heffner with artificial affection.

The first two episodes were dedicated entirely to establishing the “relationship” the new main girlfriend has with the pinup king. She spends the show searching for a new nickname as marketable as “puffin” for her stranger beau. This Girls Next Door is even less believable than the last. Heffner was introduced to the doublemint skanks just last spring and to the main G.F. last Halloween. Why would I care about the loveless relationship that has lasted barely a year more than Heffner’s 5+ year relationship with Holly Madison?

Sorry E, it is not the same, and I do not care about their inhumane practices of dying their dogs pink, their trashy gossip about Holly, or their outrageous behavior in Vegas when they are left alone. Heff would never allow his old GF’s to leave him for more than 12 hours, the fact that the new girls can leave him for more than a day proves the show’s treachery. Holly, Bridget, and even detestable Kendra, I miss your themes parties, watching your midnight craving for Arby’s and your colony of untrained animals.

Real Girls Next Door, I miss your face- Shassie.

One Response to “The Imposters Next Door”

  1. anoyes20 October 20, 2009 at 12:27 pm #

    I totally agree. I don’t even watch the show anymore. It’s just not the same.

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