Archive | September, 2009

All I Need is the Air that you Breathe

30 Sep

Where have those skinny men with glasses and asthma gone? It seems as if television shows have completely forgotten the unspoken sex appeal provided by charismatic and asthmatic characters to sympathetic female viewers. Two sidekicks from television’s past leave me especially breathless; Freaks and Geeks’ Bill (Martin Starr) and The Wonder Years’ Paul (Josh Saviano).Billjosh_saviano_then_full

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The day Bill said he would never make-out with a girl because of mucus and old bits of food made my knees buckle. I was willing to risk him throwing up in my mouth for just one kiss. And that time when Paul began swooning over Mrs. Arnold made my heart melt.

It is a pity that Millhouse (The Simpsons) is the only true geek left representin’ on air.   Bill Haverchuck, Paul Pfeiffer, I miss your giant glasses, your arms that reach all the way to your ankles and your peanut allergies.

Asthmatic heartthrobs, I miss your face-Shassie

Superchicks

27 Sep

The tragic loss of class on airlines, especially as it pertains to stewardesses, is a setback that causes me hurt on a daily basis. If the goddesses of the sky would once more refuse to recognize the feminist movement and cease to wear loafers and baggy pants, I am positive that I would not currently be a student in sticky Savannah but rather in mid air on my way to Vegas, serving drinks to illustrious men in skinny ties. Hopefully the lovely ladies of the CWs new reality show  Fly Girls will revive the long lost class of the ’60s. Air hostesses, I miss your snug pencil skirts, pill box hats and your easy virtue.

Sky girls, I miss your face-Shassie

UPDATE: October 4, 2009- The stewardess’ on Delta are now wearing jeans and T-shirts. Airline class is at an all time low.

 

Fun Find:

Coffee, Tea, Or Me?- a fantastic collection of memoirs

Secretary to Sexpot

23 Sep

 

Do you remember that neighbor with her nose constantly stuck in-between the blinds from Bewitched? Well yesterday I found out that Gladys Kravitz, better known as actress/writer/chef Sandra Gould, has published a sling of dating advice books and articles for women in the mid 1950s. I have spent the better part of my night searching for her cookbook Sexpots and Pans, a woman’s guide to cooking her way into the heart’s of 47 different types of men. Good news, I always wanted to know what to feed my cheating athletic build date. Sandra G, I miss your skepticism and your sexism.

 Sandra Gould, I miss your face-Shassie

We Belong, We Belong Together.

21 Sep

 In August, the world I had been living in since the mid-90s was ruthlessly and relentlessly destroyed. It was during a game of champong when my friend decided to share the latest gossip she had overheard about her friend’s sister’s best gay friend, let’s just call him Satan. “Satan was at a gay club in Bethlehem last week,” she said, “and he got a BJ from Jonathan Taylor Thomas.” Immediately I threw my pong ball across the room and screamed a Drew-Barrymore-on-a-large- cordless-phone scream.  The rest of the month was a mere depressed blur.  I never would be Mrs. Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

I wish J.T.T would come out of the closet he’s hiding in and grace the world with his presence once again. Words cannot describe the way I felt about Jonathan Taylor Thomas from the ages of 9-14, only the 250+ pictures I had in sixth grade hanging of him on my bedroom door can. J.T.T. is, and will always be, the first love of my life. Since the ball dropped at the beginning of the new millennium Jonathan Taylor Thomas has disappeared. Why internet? WHY have you no information of his whereabouts? I have gone to Bethlehem, PA on holidays just to see if he was home for Christmas. I have even wandered Columbia University where he is rumored to be attending Grad School. It’s impossible that I am the only fan left who cares. I need to know Jonathan, is it true? Interviews from 2000 will not suffice. Please ease my broken heart.

                                                  Jonathan Taylor Thomas, I miss your face- Shassie

What Ever Happened to Baby Grey?

21 Sep

Today, I did not wake up yawning but rather dancing; my hips began to cha-cha the minute Love is Strange began to wail from my iPod. Moments later I turned on my television only to find that Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986) was on TV again. With the recent death of Patrick Swayze and John Hughes, the face of Jennifer Grey has been plastered all over the small screen leading me to wonder, what ever happened to baby Grey? I dropped all my plans and decided a Jennifer Grey marathon was in order.

 After watching Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986), Red Dawn (1984), and Dirty Dancing (1987), I was hungry for more Grey, but after her Nose Job in the early 90’s her career had completely disappeared causing her to be unrecognizable and my marathon to a dead halt. It would seem that 1987 really was the time of her life. Jennifer Grey I miss your crooked nose, your body suffocating Jordache jeans, and your gleaming white Keds.

                                                                                    Jennifer Grey, I miss your face- Shassie

Beach Blanket Dylan

18 Sep

There are posters to hang up, papers to write, and pies to bake but all I can think about is Kelly Kapowski(Tiffani-Amber Thiessen) crossing borders and crossing networks to become the newest member of the Beverly Hills 90210 gang, and coincidentally Brenda Walsh’s replacement. Yes in my mind all the hipsters, skinny jeans, and orange girls of the new millennia have disappeared. Solids have become floral prints, long layers have transformed into short graduated bobs, and plain white tees have appeared beneath spaghetti straps. It is 1994.

Who has time to think about tea parties or Kanye West when the relationship between Kelly Taylor and the gorgeous rebel Dylan McKay is still going strong, despite their clear lack of chemistry, passion, or even things to talk about.  The romantic Casablanca-esque antics of “D” were totally lost on the young status-seeking Kelly Taylor. She doesn’t even like old movies.  Now I, a 21 year old girl in 2009, have begun to ask the same question girls my age asked 15 years ago: What about me Dylan McKay?

 

 

Dylan Mckay, I miss your face- Shassie